As the NFL season approaches, I find myself thinking of the genius that is professional football. There is so much to admire. The determination, strength, agility, and fortitude. It takes a lot to triumph in the courtroom errr....football field.
The NFL teaches us all values that any of our menial jobs can't. No matter how many building exercises you may be forced to participate in, your co-workers are not your teammates. You would rather pour hot coffee on them than Gatorade. Admit it, it's ok. The NFL teaches us life lessons that prepare you for whatever may come your way. It teaches you to stare adversity in the face, and concuss that mofo because you're getting into that end zone no matter how many jiggle belly linemen try to sit on you.
Perhaps the greatest key to success that can be learned from the National Football League is preparedness. Each franchise employs a technical team that produces scouting reports, game video, tracks more statistics than Deep Blue could process, and basically puts any and every bit of information you need to know about your opponent right in front of you. No more racking your brain thinking of previous match-ups. No more confusion over schemes. You're prepared. You know your adversary.
Wouldn't it be great if you employed your own technical team? Got a big job interview? They'll tell you what happened to the person your replacing, what you should wear, and the kind of scotch the boss likes. Buying a home? What's the real reason the sellers are moving, do the annoying neighbors downstairs have any health problems, why are there stars on the ceiling? Getting into fights with your spouse? They'll recap the previous fights, analyze their topic trends, prevent you from contradicting yourself.
Just think of all the success you could be experiencing in every facet of your life if you had a scouting report for any scenario. Nothing but smooth sailing as long as your potential boss isn't Mike Shanahan, your neighbor isn't Mike Holmgren, and your significant other isn't Bill Belichick, who will cheat on you. In no time you'd be feeling as good as these guys.
I love the NFL. Necessary For Life.
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Occasionally, I will have something on my mind that will not lend itself to a whole entry, so from time to time I will briefly riff at the bottom of some posts.
- Beer Summit: All the talk was about what beers would be consumed. The President goes Bud Light, Skip Gates had a Sam Adams Lite, Sgt. Crowley goes Blue Moon. Oh, and Joe Biden had to get in there too but they only let him have Bucklers low alcohol beer. These selections are very telling.
President Obama: selects a American Icon and tried to be health conscious at the same time. Too bad Budweiser is owned by Belgium corporation InBev. A lot of people think the Pres. picked Bud because Jesse Jackson's son Yusef Jackson is president and majority owner (67%) of an Anheuser-Busch distributorship on Chicago's north and northwest sides and his brother Jonathan is VP and minority owner (23%). I think that's just people looking for something to talk about. The President drinks the King of Beers.
Skip Gates: Teaches and lives in Boston area. There's tons of ads for Sam Adams in Boston. Since the White House only stocks American beers they probably told him he couldn't have Red Stripe (which he was reported to have selected) so he just picked the first American beer that popped into his head. Also gets bonus points amongst the locals for being a wicked pissah.
Sgt. Crowley: The cops, the boys in blue. There is a lot of solidarity behind that blue curtain. Certainly he could have gone for something more macho, but he went with the Blue beer. All this racism hullabaloo can kiss his white ass. He gave them the Blue Moon.
VP Joe Biden: He wasn't even invited! He just shows up to the party because Hilary Clinton in in the news more than him. Luckily the White House was prepared for Say it Ain't So Joe when they threw him a low alcohol Bucklers. The man has the propensity to put his foot in his mouth. They were just making sure he wasn't going to wash it down with gasoline. Oh let's just play the clip.
No problem with these choices. Don't really care what they all discussed since there was no resolution. But the snacks...pretzels and peanuts. C'mon. The is the friggin' White House. I know we're kickin' it average guy style, but could you pick something a little more interesting? Where are the wings? How about Potato Skins? Gimmie something. And if you're going to have this buddy buddy beer drinking, pretzel and peanut party what's the deal with the suits? That's right. The president doesn't do jeans because he catches to much wreck for the ones he wore at the All-Star game.
My advice? Next time make it a pool party. After all, it's Joe Biden's real hair. Some sun, brews, BBQ. Man cook meat with fire. Guarantee we would have gotten a resolution then. Who wants to party with this guy?
Thursday, July 30, 2009
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