Say Cheese

I am a big fan of cheese. Always have been. I've had smoked cheeses, mild cheeses, cheeses from around the world, and cheeses courtesy of goats. One variety that has always eluded and intrigued me though is government cheese.

If you've never heard of this particular variety, it's basically a combination of cheeses like cheddar and Colby mixed with cheese curd or granular cheese. It is made of surplus cheese obtained by the government. If this description hasn't whetted your appetite yet, our government endorses it's quality stating, "it slices and melts well." Mmmmmm.

I was completely ignorant of government cheese until one fateful day I was flipping the channels and vaguely remember Joey Lawrence rolling a giant wheel of the stuff into the living room. This of course occurred on the Nell Carter vehicle, "Gimme a Break!" I don't recall the circumstanced that befell Nell and Young Whoa! (I like calling him that) that they required government intervention for sustenance, but I was mesmerized by the thought that our government would give you a giant wheel of cheese if you were starving.

Dairily beloved, that is a lot of cheese. But why did the government pick cheese? You would think Jimmy Carter, who started the program, would be vehemently pushed for government peanuts. After all, as George Washington Carver proved, a lot can be done with a peanut.

I suppose I should consider myself blessed to have never had gov Gouda touch my lips. I have been cheese spoiled. Still, it can't stop me from being curious right?

Plus, it was shaped like a wheel. Perhaps the greatest invention of mankind, combine that with cheese and the results have to cause a tear in the dimensional cortex. Or vortex. Whatever you prefer.

I don't think I will be sampling government cheese any time soon as the program seems to have sadly ended. Just give me a call if you ever hear of a government peanut butter program. It's never too late Jimmy!